Do I Really Want It

As much as I want every dream that I have to come true, I can truthfully say that at times I question if I really want to put in the work to see my dreams actually come into fruition. I've had my share of jobs, about five or six, since I started working at eighteen years old.  I am thirty-two years old now. Which each job I was promoted fairly quickly and I know that it was due to the drive that I had.

Now that I am transitioning into working for myself in addition to working for someone else. Oddly enough I actually like my job...most times but that's another post for another day 😂. Anywho I can say that the drive I once had isn't there anymore. Some days I get so excited to get up and work on my dreams and other days I just want to work my nine-to-five and sleep in. I will say that the medications that I am currently on have been making me fall right to sleep during the day. But there no excuses, so to counteract that issue I have been writing and researching early in the morning or late at night. Sometimes that works, other times it doesn’t.

I hear the quotes like “Out Hustle Everybody” or “You Can Sleep When You’re Dead” they sound amazing and at times are helpful but how realistic are they in regards to my life? I can hustle no problem but honestly, I like to sleep. I will become a grade-A b**** if I don't get proper rest (just ask my husband) so sleep is staying. I just have to work smarter. Put one-hundred and twenty-five percent into the time that I allow myself to work versus working all day nonstop; which really wouldn't be a problem. But I want to produce and present something that I absolutely love. Not produce something just for the sake of producing something. It has definitely been a struggle mentally. But I’m working it out and the first step was to put together a schedule for myself. 

I realized that outside of having the drive to excel at any job that I ever had another common denominator was that I had a schedule. Whether I worked Monday through Friday or my work days were scattered throughout the week. I had a schedule and it was pretty consistent. Regardless if I had a bad day, family issues, cramps, or whatever. I had to show up at work per the schedule. If I didn’t then I would not get paid. 

I know, I know I should have made a schedule for myself a long time ago, but hey I didn't. But now that I have a one I have to be consistent, see the value in the talents that I have, and continuously share them if I want to see any success for myself. It'll come. 

I KNOW IT WILL!